THE LASTING BEQUEST YOU CAN GIVE YOUR CHILDREN
Some years ago, a young man was stopped by police for driving without license. He was asked to appear before the judge. The Judge read off his citation and asked, "What is your plea? Guilty or not guilty?" "Guilty your honor," he replied. The Judge ordered him to pay Rs 500 as fine or 15 days in jail."
Then an amazing thing happened. The Judge stood up, took off his robe, went over to the clerk, and paid the fine in full. What do you think have happened? The Judge was his father. He loved his son, to be sure, but at that moment he was his judge. His son had broken the law He could not simply say, "Because I love you, I forgive you. You may now leave." If he had done that there would have been a miscarriage of justice in his court. What do you think he is- A perfect judge or a perfect parent? I told my friend who told me this incident that he is a perfect parent, because by his action he has taught his son a moral that he will never forget.
Parents are the primary moral educators of their children. They help children to stand up straight, keep their head up and make them proud of themselves. Success in life is picked up in bits and pieces along our journey. When you give your children values and help them build strong morals, you are giving them the ability to make right thoughts, right talks and right deeds that will take them forward in their journey to success.
PARENTS AND MORALS
The world has never been as risky, hazardous, painful, frustrating, costly and confusing as today. It probably is no surprise that every sphere of life is overtaken by competition and rivalry. Probably your biggest worry being a parent is how your child will grow up in this adverse surrounding. You have to look at everything and everyone as a potential hazard. T his doesn't mean your child cannot carry on with his life and deal with these problems. Being a responsible parent how can you promise peaceful, relaxed and healthier life for your child and his/her family.? How will you equip them to grab the best of what life has to offer them.? How can they see the light at the end of the tunnel when life gets tough?
Life"s biggest safety tip we can give our children in their complex worldly life is powerful information on morals and values in a relaxed and open state of mind, so that they can get past the erected barriers in life, overcome their fears, problems and adopt effective new strategies that takes them forward in life. The morals and principles you teach them will equip them to face any number of problems in life. Morals help them grow in a healthy, robust manner, even when they have considerable challenges. Through morals and values parents can bring qualities that will enable their children not only to overcome challenges but also to become pleasant, more nurturing, positive, flexible, assertive, and creative as they grow older. Morals and values make them capable of learning and growing both socially and emotionally.
CHILDREN AND MORALS
No child is born with morals. Human beings develop morality in stages. These stages come under the following heads child, teen, adult and old age. Each stage brings a person closer to mature moral development.
In the child stage we follow morality due to fear of punishment. In the teen stage we follow morals and values to get admiration and appraise. As we grow up our moral understanding also grows. Towards end of our teen and in the beginning of the adult stage most of us realizes the importance of morals and values. In this stage we will receive the approach, style and attitude required to take up greater challenges in life. In the old stage we not only practice morals but also start preaching it.
MORALS, VALUES AND CHARACTER
Morals are fundamental principles based on right and wrong.
Values mean all important beliefs or rules by which we take decisions.
The action you take to perform the morals and values you believe in.
HOW CAN PARENTS CULTIVATE MORALS AND VALUES IN CHILDREN
A parent does the most important job of all - Character-building for generations. An ideal parent should create loving and safe environment for their children as they grow from baby to teen, right through adulthood and old age. Children will need sound morals and values to survive each stage, and grow into happy and healthy parents and grandparents. The following techniques can be used to develop morals in children.
1.Tell your child stories on morals and values. Talk to them about society, people and Justice
When your children are very young, tell the child stories on morals and values, tell them about Society, Law, Justice, Police and Judges. Tell them about the role played by each of them in preventing violence and anarchy in society. Use news stories, movies, TV shows, books, and daily life events as a platform for talking about moral issues. By keeping the lines of communication open as they grow, you are providing your children with an invaluable opportunity to explore their own ideas about morality and to reinforce the values that are important to you and your family. Encourage them to express their own opinions, to think about what they might do and say in various situations, and to try to put themselves in the shoes of victims.
2. Teach by Example
Do not worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you . - Robert Fulghum
For your children, you are the most important role model. They will be watching and copying you to learn how to behave. When they see you behaving in a sensitive and respectful way, they will learn and understand that this is how others should be treated.
They will know the good; love the good, and does the good automatically from you. Monitor your own behavior and values. Treat other people with respect. Show empathy, compassion, and justice to people you deal with. Never introduce children to bad examples.
3. Be a parent who is Fair, Loving, Understanding, Honest and Firm
Children need love, care and support along with firm discipline and responsibility. Two different emotional expressions are required to inculcate morals and values in the child. You have to be gentle as well as strict. You should be in charge of the situation and not the child. Punish him for his mistakes. Keep the promises you made to the child. Mean what you say. He will also follow the same in life. If you promise him a chocolate make sure you buy it for him. If you do not he will not give importance for promise and trust in life.
4. How would you feel if someone had hurt you? Make children think and analyse about their actions.
Let them put themselves in the other persons shoes. This will make them realize their deeds and how they would like to have it done on them. This will make them feel sorry and repenting.
5. Bind them with the family
A united and close family with parents, grand parents and elders will offer values, traditions and support. Children will also avoid peer pressure when he feels that there are many responsible people watching and caring him. To bring up a child in the way he should go, tell him the way you traveled and how your parents brought you up.
6. Develop good conscience in children
A quality conscience produces discomfort or uneasiness when the mind is thinking of doing a wrong act. If by chance a wrong act is committed due to lack of self-control, a good conscience will start developing the emotions of guilt, apology, empathy and confession. Scientists say that the positive relation between mother and child develops good conscience in children. The quality of conscience depends on the influence of mother on children.
As parents let us make deposits in the moral banks of our children because what a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give.